It was maybe 2 am or 3 am; I’m uncertain because my heart was beating so fast and so strong that I could barely register the time on the clock next to my bed.
I just remember my first thoughts: I’m scared. Where did this come from? Why is it here?
And then I reminded myself that it didn’t matter what the root cause was…
It was just energy that needed to be released. There was nothing to figure out or fix.
I needed to be with it, tend to my needs, and comfort myself.
I needed a hug and so I held my heart with one hand and wrapped my other arm around myself in a nurturing embrace.
I let my heart beat wildly and let my breath slow down and deepen…4 counts in, 8 counts out.
I was thirsty so I sat up and drank some of the water that I religiously keep by my bed.
I felt tired so I laid back down, held my heart, held myself and whispered to myself, to my heart, to my inner child: “there there…there there…I’ve got you…all is well.”
And then I fell back to sleep.
When I woke up, still feeling jittery, instead of trying to figure out why anxiety woke me up in the middle of the night…
Instead of empowering my anxiety by overthinking what caused it or where it came from or how to stop it from happening again…
I allowed the residual buzz of anxiety to be there and I carried on with my routine:
Warm water with lemon
A walk outside
I felt more grounded. All was well.
You see, when anxiety comes for a visit, I have learned to be respectful of its wisdom…
As the poet Rumi says, it might be clearing me out for some new delight.
After I tend to my needs, I get curious and stay in the wondering…
I wonder if it’s releasing something within me that needs to be released?
I wonder if it’s simply reminding me to be present and tend to my heart and soul?
I wonder if it is exposing the truth of something deeper?
I wonder if its arrival is meant to teach me how to surrender?
Approaching anxiety in this way is what yoga has taught me and continues to teach me.
And this is what I teach in my online program, The Anxiety Healing Project.
You will learn about your energy centers, the chakras, which can help you to identify your anxiety triggers…
You’ll learn relaxation techniques and practice yoga, meditation, and mindful breathing from the comfort of your own home.